FMA CF05 Movie parody script – The Story

Suddenly reminded about my old fic based on my groups cosplay skits. Reposting here for old times sake.

Wordcount not included since this wall last years’.

Crossposted on WickedWench

The following drama is the parody version of Fullmetal Alchemist Movie – Conqueror of Shambala. The FMA cosplay crew and the author and narrator will not be responsible for any injury which includes out of breath, stomach ache or nosebleed.
Courtesy to raincloud_sama and Ithronluin for making the original script.
“No miniskirts are damaged during the course of this production. Thank you.”

Central had never been uneventful throughout the season. Occasionally, some rouse will arise from the military headquarters as some of the officers… and a certain Strong-Arm alchemist create some ridiculous argument or err… display on the streets. But the residence of Central had learnt to ignore these things. Sometimes, it was even fun to watch them.

Unfortunately, today… the Amestris people living in Central will not be spared of a very… very confusing banter…
From the other side of the road, Edward Elric commonly known as Fullmetal Alchemist walked in towards the marketplace with his briefcase. Though, most people would never recognize this lad anymore. No more clad in bright, red cloak that can only be matched to the little Red Riding Hood (Edward punches hard on narrator. Edward: ‘Who’re you calling that puny squib that can’t be measured with a ruler?’ Izumi: *dies* ) err… where am I? Oh! He’s now appeared in a brown overcoat and pants, and a white shirt underneath.

To this sho—(Edward prepared his fist–) I mean, this fair traveler’s mind, he saw his brother coming straight towards him. Yeah… his real brother, not Alphonse Heiderich. Edward walked towards him with open arms as he imagined the nostalgic reunion. Two brothers separated between two dimensions… finally reunited by a trick of fate–
‘Oh my! It’s been a while!’, cried the lad called Alphonse Elric as Edward’s broke into hundred of pieces. Al hadn’t came to greet him but walked straight PASSED him without even seeing him!

Edward turned around in confusion as he saw Al being greeted by none other than the alchemist-who-was-so-useless-in-rainy-days, Roy Mustang! ‘What THE-?!’, cried Edward aloud as Al turned towards him, having overheard his voice.

‘Al! Don’t you know me?!’, gasped Edward in surprise as Al looked at him blankly. ‘Er…Sorry. Who are you? How do you know my name?’, asked Alphonse in wonder as he tilted his head while scratching it. Wondering in surprise over who was this person who knew his name.

Edward could not contain his surprise and anger as he started to realize the situation. He immediately turned towards Roy as he pointed his fingers at him.

‘What the hell?!! TAISA!? DID YOU BRAINWASHED HIM?!?!!’, shouted Edward towards the flame alchemist to an extend of almost screaming as several passersby tried to scuttle away from the place. Roy suddenly looked up as he finally realized the identity of the lad in front of him and smirked.

‘Aha… I see you haven’t grown that much, Hagane…’, said Roy giddily as he put up his hand to try to compare his heights with him. Having heard the magic word from the person who kept calling and teasing him about his height and whom he hadn’t seen since two years after he entered the other side of gate world, Edward fumed in anger as he started to flail his hands in anger.

‘Who’re-you-calling-me-so-short-that-can’t-be-Al’s-brother—!?@&#$’, he shouted while trying to make himself understandable over those strings of word that someone would think that it was actually a word. ‘What…on…earth?’, gasped Al as he stared at the person who seemed a little bit too annoyed at the mention of the word short.
Edward was stunned. He was shocked! Al, his brother… doesn’t even recognized him! Something have got to be done!, thought Edward as he grabbed Al’s hand while several of the shoppers stayed nearby to watch this interesting drama.

On the other hand, Roy continued smirking as he watched in amusement over Ed’s reactions. His amusement would have had lasted longer if only not because of another intrusion…

‘Let go of AL! I’m his brother!’, came a similar voice except it didn’t come from the brown overcoat lad. Everybody, including Al, Roy and Edwards turned towards the newcomer as he revealed himself. To Roy’s amused delight as well as Edward’s surprised shock and chagrin, another Edward had marched in but this one, wearing the old red coat and a pair of black shirt and pants. Alphonse on the other hand, forgetting that he was wearing a similar outfit and the fact that he had a brother merely stared at the newcomer in surprise as he grabbed his other hand.

The extra observers around the foursome started to back away from them as a hot aura of intense battle quickly spread throughout the area. The two Edwards glared towards each other as both suddenly let go of Al’s hand, feeling dissatisfied since each of them felt that he was the real one.

Suddenly, a passerby sneezed… triggering both of the Edwards to transmute the things near them into something that might fit into a disco club. One of the Edwards transmuted a nearby light pole into a large microphone while the other transmuted something that looked strikingly like an oversized boombox, which caused the rest of the people to stare them in shock.

(Ignore me this time. I’m not sure how Touka Koukan worked in this transmutation. Or maybe since Ed wanted to… he could just transmute things without having the equal amount of material. XD)

Oblivious of all of this, the two Edwards glared to each other as one of them; the red-coat one grabbed the microphone while keeping an eye over the other.

Suddenly music came out of the boombox as Brown-coat tapped his feet frustratedly. Red-coat turned towards the passersby while putting the mike near his face. ‘May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please?’, said the Red-coat as several more curious people gathered closer. ‘Will the real Ed Elric please stand up?’, said Red-coat again as Brown-overcoat ed the mike from Red-coat. ‘I repeat, will the real Ed Elric please stand up?’, said Overcoat, glaring back at his twin as Roy shook his head, silly. ‘We’re gonna have a problem here..’, rapped Mustang along as the two started to fight.

‘I’m Ed Elric, yes I’m the real Elric. All you other Ed Elrics are just imitating. So won’t the real Ed Elric, please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?‘, rapped Red-coat as Overcoat eyed him peculiarly, feeling amused as he noticed the obvious height difference between them. Overcoat repeated the same verse again as he started teasing Red-coat about his height while Red jumped around wildly.

Roy frowned as started walking around, stalking the passersby by telling them that he was so bored while the two Edwards kept singing/rapping. Al angrily kicked the boombox away as the music stopped .

Al bursts out in anger as he struggled to free himself. ‘Let me go! I have my rights to choose my own brother!’, he cried as he pushed both of the Eds away from him. Al frowned as he glared at both of them. ‘In the first place I don’t have a brother! Nee-sama!!’, he cried as for some miracle someone seemed to hear it and ran towards Al.

Roze appeared soon after, looking confused at the sudden event and smiled warmly as she noticed Al. ‘Al? What’s going on?’, she cried as Al rushed into her arms. ‘Nee-sama!’, he cried as he hugged her. Al started pointing towards the two Eds as he started to explain. ‘These people are imposters! They’re all claiming they’re my brother! But I don’t have one!’, he said as both Edwards cried. ‘What–?!’

‘STO————————————OOOP!!’, cried Roy suddenly, exasperated as he got tired of the Edwards getting all the attention from the passersby. The two Eds, Al and Roze stared at him in surprise as Roy placed a bag in front of them. The passersby looked at the colonel curiously as Roy smirked at having succeeded to attract their attention at last.

Roy grinned. ‘We interrupt this program to bring you a special bulletin about MINISKIRTS!’, he announced as everyone around sweatdropped. ‘Had you ever realized the joy…. and wonders of miniskirts? We had a sample of SKIRTS…. HERE!!’, cried Roy excitedly as he pulled Roze beside him and flicked her skirt.

Roze gasped in surprise as he slapped Roy’s hand away. ‘Hey!! Get your hands off me!’, she cried as Roy turned and grabbed some of the skirts that he had. ‘There are several types of miniskirts that can be found!—‘, said Roy like a cheeky salesman as several guys closed in with interest.

‘For example… we have here a normal miniskirt, micro miniskirt…’, he grinned as he took out another and presented it. ‘—pleated miniskirt, and my favourite! The MILITARY MINISKIRT!! Specially designed for TOUGH women with STYLE!!’, exclaimed Roy excitedly as the Eds, Al and Roze hit his head hard, simultaneously.

‘Don’t you joke around!’ ‘Useless!’ ‘Baka Taisa!’ ‘Pervert!’, were among some of the cusses as Roy sat crouched at the side and moped.

‘Now… where were we–?’, Overcoat Ed… or let us called him MovieEd and the other AnimeEd, gasped as he tried to remember their actual dilemma. ‘Oh!’, gasped MovieEd and AnimeEd at the same time as they grabbed Al once more. Al glanced towards Roze as she tried to explain. ‘Al, you do have one! Edward IS your brother!’, she cried as she pointed towards AnimeEd. MovieEd let go of Al’s hand in shock as AnimeEd grinned at him triumphantly.

‘Come on… let’s go home…’, said AnimeEd as Al embraced him and the three of them walked home happily. Seeing that the confusion has been resolved, the rest of the crowd also started to resume their routine work. Leaving the still shocked MovieEd with Roy Mustang alone in the marketplace. Ed sighed as he tried to cover his disappointment. Roy smirks and puts his arm on Edward’s shoulder.

‘You don’t have to be disappointed. You are back, are you not?, he said as he smiled. Edward stared at him suspiciously as Roy smirked. ‘What the heck? What is your intention exactly?’, he asked Roy grinned evilly and patted his head. ‘Well…I do have plans after all….’

‘What the—‘, gasped Ed as Roze came back, barging in and pulled movie! Edward. ‘This is a G-rated drama! Get your hands off my daisuki-sama!’, she cried as she left with Edward out of the marketplace, leaving Roy looking stunned.

‘What the–? Why is everything kept going wrong with me?’, he moaned as suddenly MovieEd came back to retrieve his briefcase. Seeing Roy kneeling on the ground like that, Ed suddenly had a wicked idea as he ran passed him and smacked him hard with his briefcase.

Roy fall over again as he cries over his unfortunate luck. ‘Why… WHY?! I want my Riza… now…’, he moaned and cried as several lads pitied the colonel. Eventually, the depressed colonel got up by himself and dragged himself back towards his quarters… of course, still carrying his supply of miniskirts. XDXD


~ by Izumi Ishtar on June 23, 2007.

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