FMA CF05 Anime skit – The story

Same as the other one. Reposting. Crossposted on WickedWench.

Background music: Heavenly Spirit from FMA OST 1.

This plot bunny originally came from the mindworks of my two friend wild(Ithronluin) and Raincloud. Considering that it made a lovely Audio drama… as we did the recording before the cosplay competition.. I wondered if we could also made the story version of it… XDXDXD

“No miniskirts were damaged during the course of this production. Thank you.”

And since in this skit I had been crossplaying as Roy… You’ll notice that the way this story had been written, was from Roy’s POV… XP

It was a jolly good day for our dear Roy Mustang as he sat propped on his office, trying to finish signing all those documents that Hawkeye forced him to do other than his own duties as the State Alchemist. After all… he wouldn’t want to lose his state alchemist license too soon… eh?

In fact, as it looked to him… the pile seemed to greatly lessen. XDXD

And then came that predictable footsteps storming his office… again.

Roy looked up to see the face of none other than the Full Metal Alchemist, the obviously SHORT-looking kid named Edward Elric.

As if he expected his own presence to be appreciated by this ehem… elusive and extravagant Flame Alchemist, Edward simply plopped on the seat in front of him without having invited.

The shorty kid smirked at him. ‘How is the research coming along, taisa?’, said the shorty. Roy Mustang lifted his brows at him as if he’d ever wanted to share his knowledge about his recent ‘research’. Roy snorted before giving him the wry look. ‘Hmm…Everything’s just fine…’, he said irritably.

Edward gave him the sarcastic look. ‘The Philosopher’s Stone? Did you manage to find who’s the culprit behind all this is?’, he asked again. Roy bit his lips as he was arded by the same question that the lad kept bugging him for.

‘No, the military is still working on that. On the other hand, you don’t have to worry about it. I am sure they won’t come after such a small BEAN like you.’
Hehe… there he said it. Here comes the fun! God… how he loved teasing Edward about his heights. It never grows old. Not when it involves this Edward. You’ll get the same reaction every time and you’ll never get bored doing it. Ever.

The color rose to his face that Roy could swear he could see smoke coming from his head. He started counting the seconds when the kid finally blew up.

‘WHO’RE YOU’RE CALLING A GRAIN OF RICE THAT WON’T BE SEEN AT ALL?!!?’, he cried as he started throwing his hands in the air, albeit, dramatically. Roy smirked as he got Edward under his fingers again. ‘And what makes you think you’re so great?! Just because you have more fangirls than me–!? If I was a little taller, ALL your fangirls will come running after me, HAH!’, he cried as he looked away, feeling superior.

Roy immediately glared at the shorty as he utter all those thing. All right! That’s it! Nobody should be questioning his status among his fangirls… especially him. But then… he was amused by the fact Ed pointed about his heights. How adorable… or perhaps predictable. It’s a wonder that he didn’t realize how delicious he looked with his short stature and amusing antics…

Roy suddenly doubled back on his thoughts. Whoa… okay. Cross that. CROSS THAT!!! This is a G-rated fiction!! No BL hints! None! Zero… PSSHH!! Asta la vista… evil thoughts!

Right now it was more crucial to defend his own fangirl status!

Roy coughed as he prepared for his speech. ‘My height have nothing to do with my popularity with the fangirls!’, as he looked away in a dignified manner. ‘–It is my elegant style and graceful poses….my trademark gloves and of course—‘, he spoke as he leered towards Edward wickedly. ‘–my overall kakkoi-ness in which all my s fall for–!’
Edward started chocking his head out as Roy continued proclaiming… err, his claims as our Roy ignored him. Roy stuck one leg onto his table while causing some of the previously well placed documents to fall on the floor as he smiled wickedly.

’ALL MY FANGIRLS WILL WEAR MINISKIRTS SPECIALLY DESIGNED BY ME BY THE YEAR 2020!!!’, he exclaimed as Edward looked at him in horror. Okay… to explain this, during the time this event took place, by some sheer luck… the time frame sort of jumped a few tens of years to the future.

Don’t ask me… ask the unknown alchemist who probably did this without the military finding out. And our Roy… probably heard about the vision 2020 thing from some foreign country called Malaysia.. or Maresya… or… emm, what is it again? Ehem… so Roy wanted to make his own Vision 2020. XDXD

Back to our favorite taisa… who, while proclaiming the above sentence, had been punching his fist to the air and laughing maniacally.

Edward couldn’t hide his shock. ‘No way!’, he shouted as he knew that by doing this… the Roy Mustang fangirls will definitely forsake him. Hmm… that’s not a bad idea too…, thought our Edward.

Roy definitely noticed his disbelief as he head away from his desk. ‘If you really do insist, I wouldn’t mind battling you to see who is the SUPREME FANGIRL MAGNET of all times!’, claimed our Roy Mustang as Edward looked at him sarcastically.

‘HAH! Bring it on! I ain’t afraid of you!’, he exclaimed as he points his finger at him. ‘But wait a sec… you want to battle in this small office?’, said Ed again in disbelief.

‘Of course not!’, cried Roy and immediately Edward was being whisked away into a vast courtyard. And somehow.. as both of them prepared to fight, Roy could swear he heard a tango song being played in the air…

Wha—? Who played the Shakira song? A tango too at it! Wait a minute… who the hell is Shakira anyway?

[For your information, the song was entitled ‘Objection’. Oh yeah… we really used this song in the actual skit. XDXD]

Ah well… who cares!, thought our Roy as he approached Edward. To his surprise… both of them started dancing in a tango!

Edward and Roy started encircling each other as they got near. And at a point in the song he suddenly had an urge to do something. Roy grinned as he picked up his spare glove and smack Ed’s face a few times!Whoa! That was fun–!Man… this song gave me the groove.., thought Roy giddily as he danced a little bit. Edward seemed to be in the mood too… as Roy thought this was the chance to ambush him.’, thought Roy as he backed away, noticing the enraged look from Ed. And then… as if on cue, he jumped as he gave his first blow. Roy evades as he gave his own upper round kick. Man… the shorty evade easily, thought Mustang as he pulled back from Ed’s kicks. Roy stole the chance to take a sweep under Ed’s feet as he jumped.BAM!! The punch missed… but Edward was on the ground. Great! Here comes my victory!’, thought Roy as he prepared to flick his fingers. XDXD… after this, even little Edward won’t dare to question his fangirl status… XDXD.

Ed looked up as his face display the utmost horror. And then, the inevitable happens…

The rain started to fall very heavily as Roy looked around in dismay. No… it cannot be! This can’t be happening right now!

Apparently, Ed at the same time changed to superior mode as he rose and smirked. He took out a board and pointed towards Roy. ‘Hehehe… USELESS!’, said Ed for the board had also written the word useless on it.
Roy looked up as he eyed him dumbly. ‘Eh…? Who’re you talking to?’

Before anyone could say anything more, Roy felt the winds sweeping him off to the ground. He looked up as he saw Riza in front of him, an umbrella in one hand… her gun in another.

Riza glared at him as she held the umbrella above him. ‘Taisa, I request you to cease this battle at once. You are USELESS in conditions like this…’, came her retort. What? Even Riza…?

Edward frowned. ‘HEY! Not fair. I’m just about to pound him to pieces!’, whined the lad as Rize eyed him wearily. ‘Edward, stop this at once or I will have to use force against you!’, warned Hawkeye.

Che… like Edward would listen. He started to move as he saw a spark, just inches from his feet! He looked up in dismay as he held his hands up. Damn taisa having to have his guardian coming to his rescue!, thought the lad… most probably.

‘Okay, okay! I’m leaving. Sheesh.’, grumbled Edward as he exchanged childish insults with Roy.
As soon as Ed left, the rain suddenly gave way to a reduced drizzle! Man… as if the rain had been teasing him all this while, thought Roy. How embarrassing…

[Right at this moment, suddenly came the sound of music that filled the area with the romantic feel.]

Roy bit his lips as he tried to get up on his own. ‘I am perfectly fine, chuuii. I can handle this situation calmly… whoops!!’

He stepped on his uniform! Why on earth the military got this skirt-like design on the uniform!

He slipped as Riza caught him. The umbrella from before… was gone, fell on the sideroads. Abandoned. And the rain seemed to find that good timing to stop. Riza sighed as he got up. ‘What would you do without me sir?’

Oh god… he could feel the bugs bugging him again. Not just those butterflies in the stomach… you know?
Roy stuttered as he started to flush. ‘I…er…Thank you, chuuii.’, he smiled and tried to walk away. But then he noticed that the song seemed kinda familiar…Wait a minute…. this is my song!

[Haha… By this time I assume you guys knew what was the song. If you are a true FMA fan… XD. It was the ‘Ame no Hi wa THANK YOU’]

Yes, he had realized and started to sing towards Riza. He started to dance with Riza as both of them were whisked into DA dream land…while singing a duet. XDXDXD

Aaah…. it would be a perfect day… to end the days, should this be the end. I mean… how many times you’d see Riza in a romantic scene like this with Roy? Gosh… this was like a Bollywood movie… XDXDXD
It is heaven….

I MEAN…. it was like heaven! -_-#
Shoooo!! Havoc voice go away!!!
‘Hawkeye Chuuii~~~!!’

Came Havoc as Roy couldn’t imagine his bad luck. And suddenly… ouch! What the—?
He fell. Again. On the floor! Had Riza been pushing him?

Havoc looked around as he saw them. ‘Oh there you are…’, he exclaimed silly as he approached them. Havoc rushed towards them as he stepped on one of Roy’s legs and almost tripping. ‘Whooops!!’, gasped Havoc as he balanced himself.

‘Taisa~ what are you doing down there?’, asked Havoc stupidly as he pulled Roy on his feet. Irritated a little… but still embarrassed, he tried to avert the topic.

‘Well… it’s a long story.’ Said Roy. Havoc doesn’t seem to notice this. ‘…anyway, we have got to go… NOW!!’, exclaimed Havoc suddenly as Roy noted the alarm in his tone. Oh no… had anything bad happened?

‘To where?’, exclaimed both officers as Havoc looked at Roy in disbelief. ‘Why… didn’t you know? There’s a great miniskirt sale at this store near the headquarters. If we hurry we might still get there on time…’

At this moment, Riza suddenly hit her head as she started cursing mentally at the shock it caused her from hearing the alarm coming from his tone. Then again… considering the situation with the boys…

Roy’s eyes light up almost immediately as he heard his favorite phrase. ‘Really? Why didn’t you say so? So what are we waiting for? TO THE MINISKIRT SALE~~~!!’, exclaimed Roy as Havoc clings to his legs.

‘TAISA! I will follow you forever!’, cried Havoc as Riza started to hit her head again. The two kids, who you might have assumed had just passed their puberty yesterday, started to march towards the aforementioned location excitedly. And being Riza, she just followed along as she tried to reasoned that this person cannot be the respectable Colonel by the title of the Flame Alchemist…

And suddenly, she felt someone holding her. She looked up as Roy smirked at her. Hey!! When did you come here!!?

Roy grinned as he escorted her to the front. ‘And you Hawkeye… shall be our model!’, declared Roy loudly. Riza’s body shook she pulled out her gun. Roy saw it and immediately, two whiff of smoke that was the Roy and the accomplice Havoc, sped off from her mercy as flashes of gunshots pursued on their tail…


~ by Izumi Ishtar on June 23, 2007.

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